


Of Questions and Line We Shouldn't Cross

by lun_a



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Fluff, M/M, Unbeta-ed, im editing this in three days brb, im sorry, improper tags and characters lol sorry, lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-12 23:54:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16881657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lun_a/pseuds/lun_a
Summary: They leave, they wait, and maybe they'll come back.





	Of Questions and Line We Shouldn't Cross

**Author's Note:**

> your local (confused) 2park stan’s back at it again ksdhfj I’m sorry for this crabby storyline, I just wanted to write this. I promise to post a better one of this, aahck enjoy fellas

For all the time Daehwi has known Park Jihoon and Park Woojin, there was never a time that the two boys aren’t arguing. Take yesterday for example, they were fighting about elephants and ants and which is stronger. It ended to Jihoon literally kicking out Woojin out of the apartment’s door for five minutes. It was tiring; Daehwi had to suffer for three hours listening to them bickering.  
“For fuck’s sake, can you stop now before you even start fighting again?” Daehwi asked, face scrunched while chewing a cherry. Jihoon grabs back his jar of cherries from the younger’s hand.  
“We’re not fighting—“  
“We are! Jihoon, chickens can hear. Stop being stupid,” Woojin cuts him off. Daehwi slams his hand against the pillow on his lap, getting the other two’s attention.  
“If you don’t shut up now, I’m kicking both of you out.”  
Jihoon frowns, “The last time I checked, this is our apartm—“  
“Shut up!”

 

Over the years, Jihoon finds Woojin the most annoying person he has ever known. He is just so good at pushing Jihoon’s buttons and the only person who can piss him off in not more than ten minutes. They’ve known each other since they were kids, went to the same school until college, staying friends all the while they built their dreams together and strived for it. Both of them have already memorized everything about each other, have met almost everyone in each of their families even their cousins and grandparents. Jihoon knows too well when Woojin isn’t in the mood when he exhales thrice more than he inhales and Woojin knows Jihoon when he’s hungry that he bites on his fingers way too much than he does when he’s nervous. Jihoon hates pineapples but he loves cherries. Woojin prefers movies than books.  
There was never a dull moment between them, if silence takes over, it only means that they just ended an intense argument (mostly, petty things, they would admit) or just plain comfortable silence when they too tired or lazy to talk.  
And none of them has been awkward on talking about their feelings. They were too cool talking about it that they don’t see it as a big deal, even if there are times their friends think otherwise.

“Are there still feelings left in you for each other?” Daniel once asked when their college circle of friends stayed overnight in Sungwoon’s place.  
There wasn’t any exchange of glances, no beat skipping, and neither any awkward silence.  
“Of course, there’s still something left. It will always be there,” Woojin answers to quickly, followed by Jihoon’s confident nods.  
It was as if their friends were still surprised, the way they responded to it, “I mean, romantically?” Daniel added.  
“Hyung, we mean it. We wouldn’t stay this long as friends if we actually threw away those feelings we shared, won’t we?” Jihoon replies.

  
If there is one thing Jihoon would be most grateful in their relationship is when they broke up. They got together in ninth grade, started dating at fifteen when everyone thought they wouldn’t last as they call it puppy love. Breaking the record, they even lasted for six years until they were juniors in college. Everything back then was just too normal for the both of them, the comfort, the company and even the domesticity as they have practically lived their whole lives together.  
And maybe it was too much trust and confidence that Woojin realized he was falling out of love, or maybe it was just too much consideration that Jihoon had let him go that easily and forgave him. It wasn’t long after Woojin calls Jihoon and tells him about Hyeongseob, a boy he met at a dance studio and that they started dating. Maybe they have built their relationship too strong that they could understand each other too well, too easily that they set aside their true feelings.  
Of course, it stung— it hurt a lot. Of course, Jihoon cried. He has learnt that maybe at least in these things, he can handle it alone and not tell Woojin. He thought that maybe things like these are meant to be untold; feelings like these are better unsaid. And he has lived until this day with the same confession as Woojin always do. As they always do and Jihoon thinks it’s better that way.  
But it’s the way they look at each other; Daehwi says so all the time. It was always how they look out for each other and how they are unconsciously always aware of everything about one another. It was the things they continued to do even after the break up, or after the second break up. It was even until now, that they seemed to be much closer than ever, much closer that sometimes, the things they do are beyond the things _friends_ do.

“We’re happier this way. Don’t push it Daehwi, we’re over and I’m okay with us like this, best friends.”  
It was a lie. Nothing has ever been better to Jihoon ever since he fell in love with Woojin. True enough, he held the same old feelings until now just like they always say and everything may seem too normal between the two of them, but Jihoon would always tell the biggest lie if he says he’s okay with it.  
_He’s still madly and deeply in love with Park Woojin, and that’s the truth._  
It isn’t just empty words to satisfy every interrogation to them, and honestly it isn’t just leftover feelings from the past that Jihoon holds. Woojin has become part of his world since forever— until Woojin has become his entire world and his life after all what happened, after all the break ups, or maybe even more. Jihoon won’t mind.  
“Are you sure? Your eyes say otherwise, Jihoon. I am second to Woojin who knows you the best. Don’t you dare lie to my face, okay? No one else is here but us two, anyway,” Daehwi urges and Jihoon pauses a bit. He gulps down almost half of his beer, feeling his heart sink with the liquid.  
“If there is anything I would want to have the most that would be Woojin by my side. The fact that this friendship keeps him here, keeps us here, then I’m good. Fuck feelings, fuck love. I just need Woojin, and _us_. Happy, now?”  
Jihoon downs the remaining half of his drink. _Yeah, fuck everything._

 

  
Minhyun never asked Woojin anything about him and Jihoon. Of all the seniors and hyungs they had in their circle of friends, Minhyun was the most sensitive and considerate of them all, if Woojin would be asked. He has never strayed along the stories and questions about their lives unless it was them to open up with him.  
It was always Woojin who does the talking.  
“What would you feel if Jihoon dates soon?” Minhyun asks all so randomly on his and Woojin’s almost weekly coffee meet ups.  
A beat. Somewhere in Woojin’s mind flinches from the thought. Sure, he has seen this in so many circumstances possible, has thought of this more than a hundred times and now isn’t any different except that Minhyun, of all people is asking him. (More likely, he expects Daniel or Jisung to ask him this.)  
“I don’t know. I honestly don’t know,” Woojin answers and Minhyun just stares at him as if waiting for him to continue. He does.  
“I just.. I think I just got used to having him around all the fucking time. Like, having someone who cares for you, who I could care for— I am so used to us, fooling and bickering over the smallest things, sharing all the darkest secrets we have. It’s just that, even our silence means a lot to me, the meaningless cuddles when it rains and he’s afraid of the thunder. Hyung, everything seems too good to be permanent for us and I’m just too afraid one day he’ll find someone he’ll date and it won’t be too plain for us to do our same old things. Things won’t be the same anymore and I don’t know what I would do, hyung.”  
Minhyun sees how Woojin’s eyes reflected the realest look of fear, fear of losing something, or rather someone, precious to him. Woojin is a tough kid, and he’s always the best to hide what he truly feels but now he’s so transparent, just like all the times he has talked about Jihoon, before and even after their break ups.

“You still love him, don’t you?” Minhyun asks.  
Woojin shakes his head, “Yeah, maybe I do.”

 

Jihoon takes in a lot of courage to tell Daehwi he’s flying to Los Angeles for a job he got after his application to a huge international company. Daehwi, the understanding and cheerful person that he is, almost threw the pots of plants out the window when he heard the news. Of course, he was so proud of his hyung, now that the hard work is paying off and he’s close to living his dream.  
It was a bit harder for Jihoon to break it to Woojin.  
There was silence after Jihoon tried to be most positive and as cheery as Daehwi when he told Woojin when the latter got home from work.  
“Really, Jihoon, I’m so happy for you. You’ve come this far now, I can’t be anything but be happy for you,” Woojin stumbles on his words, pulling off his snaggletoothed smile all too fake, if Jihoon doesn’t notice.  
Jihoon does.  
“Woojin, if you’re not that too happy for me, you don’t have to try. I understand. Either I, can’t be truly happy with the fact that I’m leaving for god knows how long.”  
_Well, fuck leaving because that is way worse than see you date another guy._

  
They’ve wasted a lot of time hiding along the shadows of their past relationship— not that their time together was all wasted but Woojin now starts to dread on all those times he walked on threads of fear of hurting Jihoon again, still afraid after two tries ending up hurting him all over again. What he doesn’t know or he doesn’t want to know is if Jihoon would accept him if he tries once more, if Jihoon means it if there are really feelings left for him.  
Now that things are slowly slipping from his fingertips, all Woojin could do is watch Jihoon pack his bags and wait for that day he’ll drive him to the airport, uncertain of when they’ll meet again.  
Woojin is afraid, but Jihoon holds his hand and rests his head on his shoulder and Woojin prays that he could be selfish enough to beg Jihoon to stay and not leave. But he can’t because he has taken away a lot from Jihoon already, has broken him enough to even make Jihoon choose him over his dream and Woojin can’t do that.

  
It is only a week away before Jihoon’s leave for Los Angeles and their friends once again gathered in one place, at Jinyoung and Daehwi’s place this time. Jaehwan and Minhyun could be heard fighting in the kitchen, after the sound of the oven opening. The rest of them fit themselves in the living room, the spotlight once again focused on Jihoon and Woojin who are curled up together in one bean bag. Seongwoo looks a little tipsy so does Sungwoon and Daniel but all of them still stays sober so Jinyoung doesn’t worry about the puking in the bathroom for another hour.  
“Just get back together.”  
Jisung’s voice sounded so normal, so natural that he got several agreement and voices piping in the background. It was as if the words were all too simple, as if it didn’t weigh too much than it should be. Jihoon cracks a half-hearted laugh and slaps Woojin’s hand who tries to divert his attention by stealing his chicken.  
“Being best friends with this dinosaur is too much to handle already, I don’t think I can stand him as a boyfriend,” Jihoon snorts.  
“But you have been together before, and as if it’s something new to you. You act like a couple already.”  
“Yeah, they do. Like an old couple with one of them going through menopausal stage, yeah.” Daehwi rolls his eyes after speaking, Daniel laughing his ass off as always. They receive glares from Jihoon and Woojin to which no one payed attention.  
“And you literally live together? What’s so big about getting back together?” Seongwoo asks  
“Jihoon is leaving in a week, by then we’re not living together anymore. There’d be no point of getting back together, even.” Woojin deadpans, his tone almost inappropriate for the mood of the conversation if not of Sungwoon who accidentally trips in the middle of the living room on his way to the bathroom and everyone laughs.

 

Jihoon hoped until the night before his flight that Woojin would ask him to stay. He hated how Woojin is too good at making things so light for them, how the younger talked about the things he wanted Jihoon to buy for him when he gets to LA, how Woojin easily dodges the topic of bringing them to anxiety of Jihoon leaving. Jihoon tried too hard to leave eerie silences during dinner, waiting for Woojin to speak up and be serious and tell him he doesn’t want Jihoon to leave.  
Because Jihoon would stay, if Woojin tells him to. And Jihoon promises to fix things between them and get Woojin back, his love back into his life if only Woojin would say he still loves him too. Jihoon is way too afraid to take the first step, after all those things they had to risk, the lines they had to cross once again, far too dangerous from before.

But Jihoon hugs Woojin for the last time in the airport, and Woojin doesn’t say anything. They waved each other goodbyes with sad smiles and glossy eyes and Jihoon waits for Woojin to run after him and tell him not to leave because he is still willing to ditch the flight if he does but Jihoon boards the plane and Woojin did not come.

 

 

  
Until that one day after six years that Jihoon came back, when he thought nothing has ever been too late for them, for him and Woojin. And sure, it is. But Woojin is nowhere to be found, even in their apartment that stayed all the same, the scent still lingering in each corner, every wall all still familiar to Jihoon except Woojin’s absence.  
No one knows where he is, even Daehwi. They weren’t lying— because Jihoon found a letter on his empty closet, written on Woojin’s neat handwriting and Jihoon knew Woojin has been waiting all this time.

And maybe it’s now his turn to be waiting for Woojin, even if it takes them another lifetime.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I’m sorry if I kinds rushed the ending, looool acads slowly kills me okay please bear with me. im promising a sequel to this, yaaay probably where woojin’s letter would be revealed kjshfb I warn of more angst ?? maybe ?? anyway, hit, comment or kudos y’all ily!


End file.
